Well once again 3 months have gone by since I've written a post and a lot has happened during that time! Here are some highlights:
1. My 'WASSAP' trip around the world got canceled because (despite my pristine credit) I didn't get approved for the loan I needed. When I prayed about why that is, I got the answer that a spiritual journey like this needs to be funded from something higher than a bank. And also since I have no debt energy around me, a loan just doesn't fit with my vibration. Well well, although these things make sense, I was devastated for a few days. Then I was inspired to whittle the trip down to just 2 countries, the 2 that had been calling me in the first place: Ireland and Israel. So if all goes well I'll take off in May for about 6 weeks! AND I will be using my 'Spiritual Journey Fund' of cash which I've been saving for the past 9 months that will cover my expenses. It's my spiritual journey piggy bank, and it's time to bust it open!
2. I moved to San Diego! After living in Salt Lake City for 3 amazing years, my heart told me to move on. I now live 25 minutes from the beach pictured above, which I have visited several times and is always a place of deep healing and therapy for me. I never would have guessed the symphony of elements on a beach would call to me in such a profound way. My move was temporary at first, but after being here for 2 months now, I have decided I want to live here permanently. At the same time, I honor and thank Utah for helping me become the person I am today. It was nothing short of transformative.
3. I started a year long program for 2015 called "Your Year of Miracles", which has been amazing. This is what I want to focus on in this post. This is more vulnerable than I've gotten with my personal life before, but this feels like the subject I'm drawn to write about now.
Beginning in January, participants in this program were to focus on 3 'miracle intentions' they'd like to see manifest during 2015. The group mentors said that this year is especially powerful for manifesting miracles and I'm already feeling it! It wasn't hard at all to come up with my 3. Two of them are miracle intentions that I've been wanting to manifest basically my whole life. The third one is something I've been wanting since last summer. Here they are:
1. Be married to the love of my life, the beautiful perfect man for me.
2. Be pregnant with our first child.
3. Have perfect health, but especially a totally healed shoulder and other specific areas that need help.
I would say that I have very good health, but my shoulder has been a mystery to me. It seems that I woke up one day last summer and all of the sudden, I felt like my shoulder had sustained a mysterious injury. I was baffled. I couldn't (and still can't) move it up or back without serious pain. It was like it was suddenly frozen, and I felt partially disabled. Things that I could do so easily without thinking (put on a seat belt, get dressed etc) were now tedious and painful chores. Humbling to say the least. I've done everything I could think of to help my poor shoulder, from energy work to releasing trapped emotions, to every herbal remedy I could find. Nothing has helped, and in fact, over the months, it has gotten worse.
Thankfully, I finally 'talked' to my shoulder to find out what it's trying to teach me and I have gotten some direction, which I'm now actively working on. It's very complex and perhaps even multidimensional (past life?), and I don't know how long the healing will take. But this is why it got on my 'miracle intentions' list, because I definitely want a miracle of healing, and I'm already seeing the beginnings of such.
Now to address miracle intention 1 and 2. We are all looking for life of joy and fulfillment. Each of us feels fulfilled in different ways. For some, this is found through becoming a famous motivational speaker who has written tons of books. For others, it's through working with at-risk youth, and the list goes on and on. Then there are those of us, like myself, that know without a doubt that the only true fulfillment for me is being married to my beloved partner and together raising a family with God and Christ at our center. This is something I couldn't deny, even if I wanted to.
I've never felt complete fulfillment or joy from my careers (although some have definitely been better than others, and have taught me a lot!), and to be honest, I've never felt I fit in to the work world very well. I love traveling more than anything, but when I come back home after 1 or 2 weeks, that familiar emptiness greets me at my door and I know I've only succeeded in temporarily filling the void with that amazing vacation. (But I always love the vacation!) I do love service, in fact 'acts of service' is one of my love languages, but my heart yearns to serve within my own family unit as well. What it comes down to is that at my core, I know I am not complete, and until I am together with my husband and children, I will be continually striving for this blessing of fulfillment. And because I choose to listen to my heart, I know it's leading me in the right direction for my highest good.
That isn't to say that I'm not happy, because I'm blissfully happy and I love my life and myself. I'm grateful for all the miraculous abundance in my life in all forms, and I acknowledge God's hand in all of it. I just happen to know that God intended more for me, and I look forward to that chapter in my life. Why not start that chapter in 2015? Why not manifest these miracles this year? I say, let's do it!
Fortunately I have learned great patience in my wait for my partner, and I have also learned how to trust, let go of expectations, and truly learn to love single life and be happy in the present moment instead of wrongly assuming that something "in the future" will make me happy. Especially in the past few years, I have had the opportunity to explore my spiritual gifts and goddess self only because I'm single, so I'm eternally grateful for this beyond words! The time and lessons I've had as a single person have been invaluable, perfect, and show the wisdom of an omniscient, merciful God. I am sincere when I say I wouldn't trade my single years for anything, and I love them, honor them, and I am deeply grateful for them.
But I'm ready for a change...
I'm ready to take on brand new challenges and learn new lessons (relationship, marriage, children, family), grow together with someone in every possible way, serve within a family, and feel and give that "true love" that we all desire. I'm ready to show God and the universe that I've learned every single lesson I was supposed to learn as a single person and now I'm prepared to show my stuff within a unified partnership and family. I'm ready to take it to the next level and fulfill my life's purpose, which I've known since I was a little girl. I'm ready to become goddess Rebecca on a new playing field, with just a few more players added. :)
This is my year of miracles, and it's your year of miracles too!! We are all connected in beautiful powerful ways. Let the love and miracles be abundant between us all as we all live the lives of our dreams.
